All that glitters is the patriarchy
Remember how over 1400 years ago patriarchy stepped into the Indian society and shit went to hell? Yeah. We all do. Don’t we? Especially the so called abala naari concept. When Lord Ram decided to defy the rules of the society and be a hardcore feminist but ultimately letting the society win because it’s parampara, pratishtha and anushasan (traditions, prestige and discipline) over everything else
Patriarchy and feminism are the two side of the same coin, when the coin flips, only one of these can see the light of the day and the other usually kisses the dirt on the ground. Want to take a guess which side is that? Yes, you got that right. FEMINISM. 10 points to Gryffindor!
Now, I am not here to advocate women’s rights, equality of the sexes, manifestation of the socio economic status of the women in the society. I don’t believe everyone is equal or that we are all the same. Neither do I believe that women are more precious or superior than men, despite our ability to proliferate and deal with excruciating pain of childbirth or the gut wrenching menstrual cramps that we have to deal with every month (which is commendable by the way). What I do believe in, though, is the fact that we all are a result of the same evolution cycle. So how did this patriarchy and feminism became each other’s ultimate opponents? Why did this feminism come into play?
Well, I primarily blame our ancestors, all our ancestors. Thousands of years ago, somebody decided that a man should be in charge of the house and everyone else just went with it. And now, thousands of years after, we are stuck with that concept and its consequences. I actually am not that much bothered by patriarchy as much as I am annoyed. I think what I mind is the ego that comes with it. And that makes me angry.
The other day, my parents got into this huge fight (it’s okay, no worries, we are Punjabis, it’s how we roll *winks*). My mother was convincing my father about something and my father being his stubborn self was adamant on his NO. When the fight went over an acceptable level, my father just yelled, “I am the man of the house, you have to do what I tell you to.” Umm, what? Really? Who decided that? You? Don’t get me wrong, I love my father. Kind of. But his attitude towards the general feminine population makes me question my position in the house, in the society in general. Now I am not telling you he is a misogynist. He is anything but that. But he has this thing, which we often refer to as the “male ego”. Why does he think like that? What prompts him to think the way that he does? Why is patriarchy so engulfed in his soul that a mere thought of women doing what they please to, makes him uncomfortable? I don’t know and I probably will never know but what I know is who to blame. It’s my father and his father and his father and his father dating back to hundreds of years ago to the man who thought it was okay to treat one gender superior to all the others. I blame them. I blame the all.
A few of them (men in power) made all of us (women), a feminist. Mind you, we do not like this nor do we want it. We do not want to take a flag march out everytime somebody says something mean to us. We do not want to run a marathon every now and then fighting our way through the prickly thorns of patriarchy. WE DO NOT WANT THIS, yet somehow we are always doing it. The patriarch in you is not letting the feminist in us rest.
Let us lie down. Let us take a breath. Let us rest. You can help us do that. You can be somebody the society hasn’t experienced before. You know how? When your daughter raises her voice, listen to what she has to say rather than shutting her up. When your sister tells you that some random guy has been passing on some disgracing comments on her, don’t tell it must be her fault. When your cousin tells you she is applying for that high level corporate job, don’t be the sarcastic king and tell her she can do it. When your friend comes up to you for emotional support, don’t tell her to stop being a cry baby. We are not looking for a shoulder to cry on, we are looking for a shoulder to match with. It’s not about who’s better, it’s about when will this not need to compare stops. The world would be a better place if you do you and let us do us.
